we're blogging at a bar
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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