but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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