Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
