Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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