I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
