Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
