Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
