fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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