You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
