I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
There's even glitter on my cock...
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