Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
