what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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