I must be too annoying 4 u.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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