Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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