The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
