i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
