i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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