I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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