Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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