My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
A+ Viking dick
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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