Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
