haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
How's work?
Spinning.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
