I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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