Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
