Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
