I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
