is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
