stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
