look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
