My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
