I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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