i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
