New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
