don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
