i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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