It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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