We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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