It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
