I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
