I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
there is puke in my bra ... again
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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