i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
