whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
