He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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