You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
