Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
