do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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