Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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