Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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