first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
