I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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