so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
