So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
