Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
