i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
