There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
