my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
